Dean St Winchester
by elephantsarelove
Summary: Dean St. Winchester was going to college to become a firefighter to avenge his mother's death when his little brother, Sam, dies in a car accident after graduation. Years later and two states over, Dean blames himself for the accident and can still see and talk to his younger brother, but it is a mysterious man from his past who comes back to haunt him.


"Dean, come on we're going to be late! You're going to look like crap no matter how long you stand in front of the mirror."

"Bitch. I'm coming." Dean yells down the stairs to his younger brother. He totally was not checking himself out. Well maybe he was but he looked hot. And anyways, you graduate from high school once` .

"Jerk." Sam automatically responds. "We really are going to be late if you don't get down here now. Dad's already in the car."

The young man bounds down the stairs to ruffle his little brother's too-long hair. "Dean! Stop it!" Sam responds to the older boy's display of affection. The boys wrestle towards the door and the older St. Winchester brother goes around to the front of the 1967 Chevy Impala while Sam clambers into the back and complains about the leg room. It's not Dean's fault that the kid is the size of a middle aged man and he's only fourteen.

The boy's father, John, starts the car and pulls away from the small house in Lawrence, Kansas. After a 10 minute drive, they park at the high school and Dean rushes out of the car and heads toward the gym to line up with his classmates.

"Dean, don't forget your cap!" Sam yells after him. He stops and runs back to grab his cap and hug his little brother. "We're proud of you, Dad and I. Even though he doesn't say it, he is."

"Sammy, no chick-flick moments. I'm gonna go get myself a diploma." Dean responds but as he turns away, a smile lights up his face.

Dean walks in the gym to be attacked by a blonde girl who runs up to hug him. "Hey Jo," Dean coughed after regaining the ability to breathe, "You know that we're supposed to dress up for this shindig, right?" He points to her beat up sneakers.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. Ellen and Ash told me the same thing. You'll all get over it. And I've never really been the dress and heels type of girl." She lifts up the edge of her gown to show cutoff jean shorts to match her converse. "Let's get this show on the road," Jo smirked and pulled Dean into the processional line as the clichéd Pomp and Circumstance played to start the ceremony.

"Dean St. Winchester." Principle Singer calls. Dean struts up to the podium with a huge grin on his face. "You barely made it, son. But congrats anyways you idjit." Mr. Singer mumbles to Dean as they shake hands and he receives his diploma. He laughs as he poses for a picture and Sam cheers his name.

Dean, despite all of the gripe he gave Sam about being more excited about him graduating than he is, is excited to be leaving high school. He can finally start to work toward his dream of becoming a firefighter. Really, it is the only reason he finished high school instead of relying on a GED and his give-em-hell attitude. This is why he ignores the bottle inside of a paper bag in his dad's hand and the weird look from the kid in the third row with the strangely bright blue eyes and just focuses on himself.

* * *

Two weeks after graduation, Dean is sitting on the couch watching TV while Sam sits at the kitchen table surrounded by books. "Sammy," Dean calls from the other room, "What the hell you studying for, kid? School's out."

"Yea for you, Dean, but I have three AP assignments I'm getting a head start on. You don't get into Stanford by procrastinating. And it's Sam not Sammy. I'm not a girl."

"Whatever Samantha." The older St. Winchester chuckles to himself. He pulls out his phone after feeling it vibrate in his pocket.

From Jo: _Hey Dean-o. Huge party at Ash's tonight to celebrate me leaving for boot camp. You have to come. This is not debatable._

Dean quickly types back a response: _I wouldn't miss it for the world, Joanna. What time?_

From Jo: _It starts at 8. And don't call me Joanna. Asshole._

He laughs, pockets his phone and walks into the kitchen. "Hey Sam, since dad's on a business trip for the next couple of days, you want me to order you pizza tonight?"

"Why can't you make me spaghetti like you said you were going to?" Sam asks without looking up from an English book.

"Because, brat, I'm going to a party at Jo's and since you're such a gigantor who eats every twenty minutes, if I don't leave you food, you'll starve." Dean scrounges the fridge for some lunch but only finds an empty cardboard container from a six-pack and a half of a Chinese carton of fried rice. He gives up and shuts the door.

"Dad's gonna be pissed if he finds out you left me alone. You know what happened last time." Sam says gently, not wanting to upset his older brother.

Dean flinched at the memory of his drunk and angry father yelling at him after he came home late from Ash's house a few months ago. "Well he isn't here so I don't give a crap."

"Can you at least take me to Jess' house if you're gonna leave? Her mom said I can come over whenever I want so it's ok."

"Fine. I'm leaving at 7:40 and I'll leave whether you're in the car or not." Dean responds as he walks back to the living room to watch some more Dr. Sexy reruns.

* * *

At 8:05, Dean slides into the Impala to find Sam sitting in the passenger seat.

"7:40 huh?" the younger boy jeered.

"Bitch."

"Jerk."

He starts the car and smiles at the deep rumble Baby makes. He fumbles through the glove compartment to pull out a cassette and sticks it gently in the stereo. He carefully pulls out of the driveway and heads towards Jessica Moore's house. He's late to Jo's anyways so he might as well get there safely.

A little ways down the road, the older St. Winchester turns to the younger one and snickers, "So you gonna take the next step in this relationship tonight and maybe tell her you like her?"

"I do not! We're just friends." Sam argues.

"Well the look in your eyes when you talk about her says otherwise. She's a cute girl. Why don't you go for it?" Dean taunts.

"I don't know, Dean. What if I tell her I like her and she doesn't like me back?"

"Just pull those puppy dog eyes on her. You can get anyone to do anything with them. Like even get her into bed." Dean jokes.

Sam pulls his best bitch face and starts to smack his brother. The car swerves to the right but quickly returns back to its own lane.

"Hey! I'm driving here! Do you want me to crash?" St. Winchester yells. The boy retracts his hands and answers by shaking his head. He looks down into his lap and anxiously picks at the fraying hem of his worn hoodie.

"Hey Dean," Sam asks after a few moments, "What am I gonna do when you go away to college?"

Dean, not expecting that question, looks straight ahead at the road and answers gently. "I'm gonna work and send you money so you'll have enough for food and the things you need for school. Dad will come home every once in a while and you're gonna keep your head down till he leaves again. I'll only be a few hours away. I'm gonna come home and see you all the time. You're gonna study your butt off and in three years, you're gonna go to Stanford and become some hot shot lawyer. You're going to be happy." He sighs. "It will be ok," he says not sure to his brother or to himself.

Sam looks hopeful. "We're still gonna be brothers? Umm what I mean is are you going to miss me?"

Dean stops Baby at a red light. He puts on a smile and turns to look at his little brother, "There aint no me if there aint no you."

The thing about moments is, to an outsider, they happen instantly. But there is no such thing as an instant. This moment in particular, seems to last forever to Dean. An SUV rear ends the impala and the boys are pushed into the intersection. Dean protectively puts a hand in front of his brother and once they stop rolling, he turns to him. All he can see is a halo of bright white lights around Sam's face. Sam looks at his big brother questioningly, "Dean?" Metal bends and glass breaks as a semi-truck slams into the passenger side of the impala. The last thing Dean consciously remembers is yelling out his brother's name.

"Sam!"


End file.
